Dogs
help us keep life in perspective
Since Adam and Eve and the first Fido, men and women have been trying
to understand the sometimes frustrating, sometimes baffling, differences
between the sexes. I received the following list from a reader that
pokes a little fun at these differences from a canine perspective.
Why Dogs
Are Better than Men
- Dogs do
not have problems expressing affection in public.
- Dogs miss
you when you're gone.
- Dogs feel
guilt when they've done something wrong.
- Dogs don't
criticize your friends.
- Dogs admit
when they're jealous.
- Dogs are
very direct about wanting to go out.
- Dogs don't
laugh at how you throw.
- Dogs don't
feel threatened by your intelligence.
- You can
train a dog.
- Dogs are
easy to buy for.
- You are
never suspicious of your dog's dreams.
- Dogs understand
if some of their friends cannot come inside.
- Dogs admit
it when they're lost.
- Dogs are
colorblind.
- Dogs aren't
threatened if you earn more than they do.
- Dogs mean
it when they kiss you.
Why Dogs
are Better than Women
- Dogs don't
ask what you are thinking.
- Dogs don't
cry to get their way.
- Dogs love
it when your friends come over.
- Dogs don't
care if you use their shampoo.
- Dogs think
you sing great.
- A dog's
time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
- Dogs don't
expect you to call when you are running late.
- The later
you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
- Dogs will
forgive you for playing with other dogs.
- Dogs don't
notice if you call them by another dog's name.
- Dogs don't
mind if you give their offspring away.
- Dogs love
red meat.
- Dogs can
appreciate excessive body hair.
- Anyone can
get a good-looking dog.
- If a dog
is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
- Dogs don't
shop.
- Dogs like
it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
- Dogs never
need to examine the relationship.
- A dog's
parents never visit.
- Dogs love
long car trips.
- Dogs understand
that instincts are better than asking for directions.
Yes, dogs
have given mankind (or womankind, if you prefer) the many opportunities
to take a simpler, lighthearted view of life. Considering the results
of crossing certain dog breeds provides another humorous look at
our canine companions. The outcomes could be very amusing.
Dog Breeds
that did not make it:
- Deerhound
+ Terrier: Derriere, a dog that's true to the end
- Spitz +
Chow Chow: Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot
- Kerry Blue
Terrier + Skye Terrier: Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries
- Great Pyrenees
+ Dachshund: Pyradachs, a puzzling breed
- Pekingese
+ Lhasa Apso: Peekasso, an abstract dog
- Irish Water
Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel: Irish Springer, a dog fresh
and clean as a whistle
- Labrador
Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever: Lab Coat Retriever, the choice
of research scientists
- Newfoundland
+ Basset Hound: Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisers
- Terrier
+ Bulldog: Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes
- Bloodhound
+ Labrador: Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly
- Malamute
+ Pointer: Moot Point, owned by ... oh, well, it doesn't matter
anyway
- Collie
+ Malamute: Commute, a dog that travels to work with you
- Bloodhound
+ Borzoi: Bloody Bore, a dog that's not much fun
- Pointer
+ Setter: Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet
- Collie +
Lhasa Apso: Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport
Dogs can help
us to look at the lighter side of life and maybe to laugh at ourselves
a little bit. I hope that you had a few good chuckles. Have a good
week and give your pet a kiss for me.
Congratulations: To Marie Molsbee, Kathy Anderson, and Cheryl Reily,
team members of the Top of Texas Canine Search and Rescue. They
recently completed their Search and Rescue Technician I training
requirements in Houston. They will return to Houston to complete
their training for a SAR Technician II rating. |
