Letting dogs know the rules
Letter to pooches lays down the law, or at least tries to

Time for a little humor.
Many of my articles tend to deal with the important issues of pet ownership. However, once in a while, it is fun to look at the lighter side of being a pet owner. If you want to indulge in a little anthropomorphism, you can cut this week's article out of the paper and tape it on the wall for your dog to read while it is eating its dinner.
Special thanks to Cheryl Harrison for sending me a copy of "Letter to a Dog," which I would now like to pass onto you.

Dear Dogs,

Please take time to read the letter while you are enjoying your meal.
First there a few things I like to clarify.
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two dogs in the way. The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.
Also, I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-size bed. I am very sorry about this. However, do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs sleeping; they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine and try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years; canine attendance is not mandatory.
Finally, the proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog's hind end. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
Thank you very much for taking time out of busy doggy schedule to read this letter.

Signed,
The so-called "Master of the House"

PS: Also, my compact discs are not miniature Frisbees left out for your enjoyment.

Congratulations to the Top of Texas Canine SAR Association team members: Marie Molsbee, Kathy Anderson, Jeremy Harvey and myself.
The team's assistance was requested by the Palo Pinto County Sheriff's Office in the search of a 74-year-old Alzheimer's patient. The terrain that the dog teams were required to search was extremely difficult and snake-infected.
Also, thanks to the residents of North Texas for all your contributions. Because of these donations and the hard work put forth by the team, North Texas now has a certified Canine Search and Rescue team.
If you would like to make a contribution to the team, collection displays have been set up at Petco and Colonial Park Veterinarian Clinic.
Remember, the Top of Texas Canine SAR Association would rather be trained and not need rather than need and not trained.